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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 113
July 2012
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People Updates

New Grandchild

Congrats to superss6 on the birth of his granddaughter Payton Renee Simpson  on 6/26.  She is his 17th grandbaby - wow!

Happy Anniversary

Congratulations to Donavan (Treeball55109) and  haha21051 celebrating 6 years marriage on June 10th.  Haha's  parents (Dino23r ) and his wife Anne celebrated 47 years of marriage on June 5th.  May they all continue to share in love and happiness -  a true accomplishment and testament to the strength of their relationships,

Congrats to witch_number_13 who achieved the perfect 29 point hand in cribbage recently.  The odds of this remarkable achievement are 1 / 216580 - I have seen about 3 of them in my lifetime.  This hand consistsof all the fives and the jack of nobs.  I am not sure any of who were at that table have actually recovered yet.

Speaking of relationships, one of our own (lens_books ) found out how easy it is to get into trouble...

So Judith was changing clothes. She had on her Prof. outfit (skirt suit and pumps) and changed into her skinny jeans and a polo shirt. We were going out to get some fast food, from a drive through, or at least something that Judith hadnt cooked or I hadnt thawed. (plus I just wanted to get out! other than the dr's office or the hospital and its baliwick, I hadnt been out of the house in months...) I had noticed when she got undressed that her fanny had changed. Not bigger, not flabbier, just different. She pulled on her jeans, and saw my face and said: "My fanny is fat isnt it?"...She asked this just as I was wondering: "Why is her hiney different?" I of course, was wrapped up in my question to myself and didnt answer her right away as I was into my own thoughts. What a mistake that was! I told Judith, that I was noticing her hiney and she said: "Yeah, how fat it is." and OMFG, all I could think of was the oldest joke on the internet, "Does my butt look fat in this?"

I started laughing and Judith did not take this as a joking situation. I told her I had just noticed it was differnt, not in a bad way, just not as it used to be. She got pretty red in the face, and said: "If you want things as they used to be, you need to invent a time machine and utilize it to your fullest capabilities!"...man, I felt like a worm, but hey, I spoke up like a man, and said: "If I could invent one of those, you could get a plastic surgeon to do whatever you wanted to with your fanny!"....I may or may not ever get to speak to the woman who was my wife. I will speak to Judith, but I think she hates me now. Is there any way or method that will help a poor simple minded idiot out in this situation?

The good news, I think he learned his lesson.  We hope!

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