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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 113
July 2012
 
 
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More Funnies


My recent trip to the grocery store

Well, there was a bit of confusion at the grocery store this morning.

When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

I gave her a startled look and made a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, however, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card!!

Consequently, I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions a whole lot clearer for those of us getting up there in age!!

________________________________________________________________________________

Broom Wedding

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!"

"IMPOSSIBLE!" said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt...                         

"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"  
       
Sounds to me like she's been sweeping around...

________________________________________________________________________________

Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'
 (You're gonna love this...)

She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.


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