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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 114
August 2012
 
 
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More Funnies


I would have given him 100%!

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle.

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page.

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid.

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage.

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams.

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner.

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half.

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet.

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
* Very large hands.

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a  wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already  built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

------------------------------------------------------------

Stress Free?

This is how I heard YOUR day was going....

First you had trouble getting out of bed.

You had a stiff neck.

You washed your hair and couldn't do a thing with it.

Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out.

You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise..

Your new hat looked better on you at the store..

You keep losing things.

You got caught in the rain at lunchtime.

Then the lunch you had didn't seem to agree with you.

You feel trapped.

Uninvited guests showed up at dinnertime.

On top of that you think you're coming down with the flu.

And finally, you're alone in the house at night when you think you hear a noise in the basement.

MAYBE  TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER!!
Thought for the  Day

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

______________________________________

and on that note....one final one....
______________________________________

A Dog's Purpose?
(from a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after
Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice,
right?''

The Six-year-old continued, ''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''

 


 


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