<< Prev Issue | All Issues | Next Issue >>
Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 120
February 2013
 
 
<< Prev Article | Issue Index | Next Article >>

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors


1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle..

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin..

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..

6. Use extra poly-grip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act...

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . .

Remember....

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN.....
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

'OLD' IS WHEN.....
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.....

'OLD' IS WHEN...
All 'nighters' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.. 


<< Prev Article | Issue Index | Next Article >>
 Quick Links
Interviews
What's Up Eliters!
Eliters Toolbar!
Stories
 Promote Eliters
Do you like Eliters?
Please Spread the Word !

Tell a Friend
Link to Us
Reciprocal Links
Referral Program
 Call For Submissions
Have you always wanted to be a reporter?
Here’s your chance! Eliters Newsletter would love to have news, stories, funny gossip; you name it.
Got a TD you’d like to praise? Tell us!
A good sport deserves recognition? Let us know!
We’re here to publish; we just need material !
 Editing Team
purcelin
lens_books
balouza
Email news@eliters.com





 
 
To unsubscribe, click here
 
 
Eliters Home | Leagues | Events | Clubs | Help
 
Copyright © 2000 - 2017 Eliters. All rights reserved.