<< Prev Issue | All Issues | Next Issue >>
Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 126
August 2013
 
 
<< Prev Article | Issue Index | Next Article >>

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb ?


Depends on the Breed -

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one.
And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?  Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or   'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it..
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb ?*

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:
      'How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?'

*ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE
STAFF!*


*WHY GOD MADE PETS** **
They help out around the house... *
*They protect our children... *
*They look out for the smaller ones... *
*They show us how to relax...** *
*They 'converse' with each other. *
*They help you when you're down... *
*They are great at decorating for the Holidays.** *
*They have 'great' expectations.*
*They are happy to 'test' the water.*
*They love their 'teddies'** *
*AND - They know when we need a good LAUGH! *
 

*HAVE YOU SMILED TODAY?????* *
It is done by moving the corners of the mouth upward.


<< Prev Article | Issue Index | Next Article >>
 Quick Links
Interviews
What's Up Eliters!
Eliters Toolbar!
Stories
 Promote Eliters
Do you like Eliters?
Please Spread the Word !

Tell a Friend
Link to Us
Reciprocal Links
Referral Program
 Call For Submissions
Have you always wanted to be a reporter?
Here’s your chance! Eliters Newsletter would love to have news, stories, funny gossip; you name it.
Got a TD you’d like to praise? Tell us!
A good sport deserves recognition? Let us know!
We’re here to publish; we just need material !
 Editing Team
purcelin
lens_books
balouza
Email news@eliters.com





 
 
To unsubscribe, click here
 
 
Eliters Home | Leagues | Events | Clubs | Help
 
Copyright © 2000 - 2017 Eliters. All rights reserved.