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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 142
December 2014
 
 
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Christmas Riddles Oldies but goodies


Q: What do elves learn in school? 
A: The Elf-abet! 
 
Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? 
A: Missiletoe! 
 
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 
A: Frostbite. 
 
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed? 
A: Because he had low elf esteem. 
 
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens? 
A: So he can ho-ho-ho. 
 
Q: Where do polar bears vote? 
A: The North Poll. 
 
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift wrapper? 
A: Ribbon hood. 
 
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ? 
A: Because it's to far to walk. 
 
Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas? 
A: Forty feet of track - all straight! 
 
Q: What kind of bird can write? 
A: A PENguin. 
 
Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? 
A: Sandy Claus! 
 
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? 
A: Fleece Navidad! 
 
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus? 
A: North Polish. 
 
Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage? 
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side. 
 
Q: What do you call a bunch of grand masters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? 
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! 
 
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? 
A: Crisp Cringle. 
 
Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? 
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you. 
 
Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve? 
A: Okay everyone, sack time!! 
 
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? 
A: Snowflakes. 
 
Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called? 
A: A subordinate Claus. 
 
Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? 
A: He wanted to sleep like a log. 
 
Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E? 
A: Because the angel had said, "No L!" 
 
Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh? 
A: Santa caught in a revolving door! 
 
Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? 
A: Because it " soots " him! 
 
Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel? 
A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks! 
 
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? 
A: Claustrophobic. 
 
Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? 
A: Because every buck is dear to him. 
 
Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer? 
Q:"Olive" ? 
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names" 
 
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? 
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. 
 
Q: What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? 
A: It was wound up already


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