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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 25
March 2005
 
 
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A Bit of Irish Witt - Happy St. Patrick's Day


Submitted by Misty_Mown
Original source unknown

A Mother's Letter

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know that you can't read fast. You won't know the house when you come home, we've moved.

About your father he has got a lovely new job. He as 500 men under him, he cuts grass at the cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't found out yet whether its a boy or a girl so I don't if you're an aunt or an uncle.

I went to the doctors on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish Whiskey at the Dublin Brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took 3 days to put the fire out.

It only rained twice this week, first for 3 days then for 4 days.

We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your Grandmothers plot wasn't paid in 7 days up she comes.

Your loving Mother.


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