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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 53
July 2007
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From Burgers to vacuum cleaners

As you all know, our ELITERs family always try and help each other out - so we were delighted to see this offer of employment in our clubs posted by wonagametwice

The burger shop actually had a rough start to the summer. We are now selling vacuum cleaners door to door with a 99 cent upsize on the replacement bags. However, we do have some super names for our new line of vacuum cleaners:

  • Big Vac - the vac that will pick one of the largest burgers sold in fast food
  • Big-N-Racy - the new leaner vac that burns twice the calories than the self-propelled model
  • The Veggie Vac - for the more health conscious vacuumer - recycles any vegetable or fruit product that is inhaled and refreshes the air with a citrus aroma while it composts the remains for your flower beds
  • $6 dollar vac - guaranteed to cost less than $6 per use, but operates like a $6,000,000 machine.
  • Slider - the cute little hand held vac that won't fill the empty space in your closet
  • Brown Bag - for the nature happy - uses a recycled bag made from burger wrappers (hey, we had to do something with them)
  • The foot long - the longest vibrating brush available on the market, guaranteed to remove all pet hair, bugs, and probably the carpet padding

And finally,

  • The Vacanator - nobody tops it - It is bacon scented, so you will be able to vacuum your entire dog's coat while he licks the side of the canister. Hey, an ounce of prevention - get the pet hair up before it gets in the rugs.

All models come with a lifetime warranty for as long as we are in business (which may not be long unless we can find more sales reps). You get a money back guarantee - We guarantee you will get money back out of the bag if you use it regularly on your sofa, and you always get a peppermint in the box with purchase!!!

Contact wonagametwice to order, or if you feel like you got what it takes to work at Vacdonald's. Where we love to see you clean!!!

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