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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 58
December 2007
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Rumors about Yahoo

It is rumored that Thanksgiving week, Yahoo! will begin undergoing some changes.

Although these changes should not affect your enjoyment on the internet and your games, Yahoo! management has stressed an overly generous 15 minute window of time between rebooting the server to complete all games.

Unlike prior rumors, Yahoo! has no desire to charge a per use fee, disassemble Yahoo! Messenger, eliminate free games, or any of the like.

However, during this transition, Yahoo! management would like to point out a few things...

"We have successfully eliminated the 'bots' from disrupting your games. As a matter of fact, you will not disrupt the 'bots either. The 'bots will be manning the Support Desk at Yahoo! during the times of 08:00 GMT and 08:02 GMT each day. Your hold time will be approximately 3 minutes. If you receive the message that you have called after our normal business hours once your hold time has elapsed, please do NOT leave a message as a live person will not be returning your call. Please do not email more than once during this decade, or reply to our automatic responses, as you will then be blacklisted to our Super Spam Bots list which will in turn place you on the Yahoo! Support Team to respond to unanswered replies that will not be responded to by a live person."

In addition, it was also noted that once Yahoo! Games returns some time in mid March, you will be presented with new log in options...

"Our newly designed log-in system will allow for increased security, less rude players, more competitive games, and less bandwidth used on Yahoo! servers eliminating the need for the 'new servers started' message received periodically. Here is a synopsis of the new log in procedure:

  • automatic log out every 7 minutes and 33 seconds;
  • new security measures include;
  • DNA sampling for enhanced log-in,
  • 32 Character randomly encoded log in verification to type in (in no certain order);
  • Retina scanning;
  • Fingerprinting;
  • Yahoo! frequent logger smart card (for logging in in lieu of other measures, however, for identity theft purposes, you will have to enter your mother's mother's father's brother's wife's mother's maiden name every 3 hours);
    Password change every time you log in;
  • and finally, Laptops can be brought to our corporate office to have our security staff actually log you on for a 48 hour period of time.

Please watch for more changes as they are made publicly known!

***all information above is believed to be fictitious and does not represent the opinions of Yahoo! or my opinion of them!! Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. Tax, title and other fees may also apply. Ask for more details.

Contributed by wonagametwice

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