To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
- At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See How Many Slow Down.
- Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
- Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask: Do You Want Fries with that?
- Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
- In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write :
- Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
- Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify That Your Drive-through order Is 'To Go'.
- Sing Along At The Opera.
- Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
- When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
- When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
- Tell Your Children Over Dinner:
'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
- PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK:
WHERE IS YOUR FITTING ROOM?
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