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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 72
February 2009
 
 
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To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


  1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
    See How Many Slow Down.
  2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
  3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask: Do You Want Fries with that?
  4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.
    Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
  5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write :
    For Marijuana.
  6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
  7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  8. Specify That Your Drive-through order Is 'To Go'.
  9. Sing Along At The Opera.
  10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
  11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
  12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling
    'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
  13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner:
     'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
    And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
  14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK:
     WHERE IS YOUR FITTING ROOM?


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