<< Prev Issue | All Issues | Next Issue >>
Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 75
May 2009
 
 
<< Prev Article | Issue Index | Next Article >>

Chicken Stuff


A survey was taken asking famous people their thoughts on . . . Why did the chicken cross the road? Here are some of their responses:

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

MOSES: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I've not been told!

THE POPE: That is only for God to know.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DARTH VADER: It can cross, but it cannot escape its DESTINY. Join me on the dark side of the road! Do not underestimate the power of the road!

EEYORE: Doesn't matter. Probably will get run over anyway. Just like a chicken. Fal-de-ral and merriment. I'm going to eat my thistles.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

More chicken fun:

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He bought a nice chicken farm and moved it. As it turned out, his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens."

The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, "Not too well. All 100 chickens died." The neighbor said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more." Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stopped in again. The new farmer said, "You're not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died, too." Astounded, the neighbor asked, "What went wrong?" "Well," said the new farmer, "I'm not sure whether I'm planting them too deep or too close together."

contributed by spartan7782


<< Prev Article | Issue Index | Next Article >>
 Quick Links
Interviews
What's Up Eliters!
Eliters Toolbar!
Stories
 Promote Eliters
Do you like Eliters?
Please Spread the Word !

Tell a Friend
Link to Us
Reciprocal Links
Referral Program
 Call For Submissions
Have you always wanted to be a reporter?
Here’s your chance! Eliters Newsletter would love to have news, stories, funny gossip; you name it.
Got a TD you’d like to praise? Tell us!
A good sport deserves recognition? Let us know!
We’re here to publish; we just need material !
 Editing Team
purcelin
lisaleasah
Email news@eliters.com





 
 
To unsubscribe, click here
 
 
Eliters Home | Leagues | Events | Clubs | Help
 
Copyright © 2000 - 2017 Eliters. All rights reserved.