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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 78
August 2009
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You know you are from a small town if...

  • You can name everyone you graduated with.
  • You know what 4-H is.
  • You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.
  • You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't- same goes with the game warden.
  • You ever went cow tipping or snipe hunting.
  • School gets canceled for state events.
  • You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow).
  • It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
  • You had senior skip day.
  • The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
  • You don't give directions by street names or directions by references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks east Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track field).
  • The Country Club golf course had only 9 holes.
  • You can't help but date a friend's ex-girlfriend.
  • Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
  • You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.
  • The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is actually just like your town.
  • Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise
  • You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich people."
  • The people in the city dress funny, then you pick-up on the trend two years later.
  • Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
  • You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.
  • Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
  • The city council meets at the coffee shop.
  • Weekend excitement involves a trip to a Wal-Mart.
  • Even the ugly people enter beauty pageants.
  • Your teacher calls you by your older sibling's names.

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