<< Prev Issue | All Issues | Next Issue >>
Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 81
November 2009
 
 
<< Prev Article | Issue Index | Next Article >>

More Fun Stuff


Aids Warning:

To all of you approaching 60 or have REACHED 60 and past, this email is especially for you...

SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!!
  • HEARING AIDS
  • BAND AIDS
  • ROLAIDS
  • WALKING AIDS
  • MEDICAL AIDS
  • GOVERNMENT AIDS
  • Most of all -  MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)
 
__________________________________________________________________________
 
Truck for sale!!!
 
A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that truck???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.
 
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars.."
 
So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
 
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband.. I thought he was on a Business Trip, but learned from a friend he had ran off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did."
(Are women good or what?)
 
__________________________________________________________________________
 
The Pope:

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where he's met by a reception committee of angels. After a whirlwind tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.

He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning the languages.

After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original handwritten script.

The angel librarian hears a loud scream, and goes running toward its source only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, shaking and crying.

"The R! They left out the R!"

"What do you mean?" the angel librarian asks.

After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"


<< Prev Article | Issue Index | Next Article >>
 Quick Links
Interviews
What's Up Eliters!
Eliters Toolbar!
Stories
 Promote Eliters
Do you like Eliters?
Please Spread the Word !

Tell a Friend
Link to Us
Reciprocal Links
Referral Program
 Call For Submissions
Have you always wanted to be a reporter?
Here’s your chance! Eliters Newsletter would love to have news, stories, funny gossip; you name it.
Got a TD you’d like to praise? Tell us!
A good sport deserves recognition? Let us know!
We’re here to publish; we just need material !
 Editing Team
purcelin
balouza
Email news@eliters.com





 
 
To unsubscribe, click here
 
 
Eliters Home | Leagues | Events | Clubs | Help
 
Copyright © 2000 - 2017 Eliters. All rights reserved.