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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 82
December 2009
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One Liners

  • Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.
  • NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?
  • Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
  • The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee.
  • My husband has suggested a candlelight dinner at home for our anniversary. Is he being romantic or just cheap?
  • A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing and the lawn mower is broken.
  • There are two types of roads in our country. One is under construction and the other is under repair.
  • When you get older, lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
  • What will today's younger generation tell their children they had to do "without"?
  • People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public.
  • Hermits have no peer pressure.
  • Never trust a story that has been told more than twice.
  • If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.

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