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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 85
March 2010
 
 
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More Funnies


Recycled Parrot:

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
'Why so little,' she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, 'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, 'New house, new madam.'
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought 'that's really not so bad.'
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, 'New house, new madam, new girls.' The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and said,

"Keith.. Long time... no see!"
 

Seen On A Marine Corps Base:

"It's God's Job to Forgive Bin Laden -- It's Our Job To Arrange The Meeting"

Marine Sniper - "You can run, but you'll just die tired!"

"U.S. Marines -- Travel Agents To Allah"

"Death Smiles At Everyone -- Marines Smile Back"

"When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine."

"Stop Global Whining"

"Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, WAR Has Never Solved Anything."

" U.S. Marines -- Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club"

"The Marine Corps -- When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight"

"What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? .... A Little Recoil"

"Marines - Providing Enemies of America An Opportunity To Die For Their Country - Since 1775"

"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It"

"Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon"

"Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Brawl"

"My kid fought in Iraq so your kid can party in college"

"Machine Gunners -- Accuracy by Volume"

"A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy -- Blessed Be The Peacemakers"

"If You Can Read, Thank A Teacher. If You Can Read It In English, Thank A Veteran"

"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem." - Ronald Reagan


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