Technology meets Paddy
Paddy was shocked to hear that all the cows on his farm were found to have bluetongue. 'Be jesus' Paddy cried out loud i didnt even know they had bloody mobiles !!
Harley debates God
Harley Davidson died and went to heaven and was boasting to God about how he had created the best motor bike in the world !
God disagreed, saying "BMW's were a better designed bike" !
Harley said "What the hell do you know about design?" "You created woman and look at the problems we have with them" !
"Excuse me" says God "I think you'll find a lot more men are riding my bloody creation than yours" !
Sign on the coffee shop wall:
“I just got a brand new surfboard for my wife – IT WAS THE BEST TRADE I’VE EVER MADE”
Heard on a Comedy Show
Q. “What’s the longest sentence in the history of the English language?”
A. “I do”
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual - sSoft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only
The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen, table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
World Cup 2018 News
David Beckham has handed over a 1752-page book to Fifa containing details of England's World Cup 2018 bid. He says he used all his own crayons and didn't go over the lines once.