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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 92
October 2010
 
 
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More Funnies


Senior health care solution -

So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you - what do you do? 
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 MP’s and 2 illegal immigrants!   
Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need!  
New teeth - no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart?  All covered. (And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now). 
And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a home. 
Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore. 
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?
________________________________________________________

Minnesota Humor

Ole lived across the Minnesota River from Clarence Bunsen, whom he didn't like at all.

They were yelling across the river at each other all the time.

Ole would yell to Clarence, "If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come ofver dere an beat you up good, yah sure, yu betcha by golly!"

This went on for years.

Finally, the state built a bridge across the river right there by their houses.

Ole's wife, Lena , says, "Now iss yer chance, Ole. Vhy doncha go over dere and beat up dat Clarence like you said you vud?"

Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I vill do yust dat!"

Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a sign on the bridge and stopped to read it, then turned around and came back home.

Lena asked, "Vhy did you come back?"

Ole said, " Lena , I tink I changed my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. You know, vhen I yell at him from across da river he don't look so big. But dey put a sign on da bridge dat says "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 In."


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