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Eliters Newsletter
Issue Number 98
April 2011
 
 
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More Funnies


While creating husbands,
God promised women
That good husbands would be found
In all corners of the world.

Then he made the earth round.

That God...  He's such a joker.

--------------------

Amish Elevator

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
      
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
 
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
 
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number... and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.  Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
 
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
     
'Go get your Mother'

--------------------

Watch and Learn

Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football game. At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.
 
How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the men.

Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.

They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please.'

The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea so after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!

How are you going to travel without a ticket?' asks one perplexed man.

Watch and learn,' answer the women.

When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into a toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding. She knocks on their door and says, 'Ticket please.


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